Her Little Sister

This morning Thatcher dumped his bowl of cereal on the kitchen floor.  This wasn’t exactly a rare occasion.  The typical protocol is for Thatcher to pick up the food he dumps/throws and then wipe the floor (and then a grown up actually wipes the floor).  But the scope of the spill today called for a mop to get involved.

So, Thatcher picked up the cheerios, and I got out the mop.  Aubrey was really excited to help mop too, so there she was pushing the mop back in forth (excessively spraying one particular spot on the floor with water), when she said:

“Mommy I am a big helper now!  I know how to mop, so I can teach my little sister when she comes home!”

It would astound you how many times a day Aubrey thinks of and talks about “her little sister.”  We are not matched yet, so we do not know specifically who Aubrey’s “little sister” will be, but that doesn’t stop Aubrey from talking about her!  Here are the topics we discussed just yesterday (with no prompting from Mommy or Daddy):

“Can Daddy check to see if there are movies in Amanda’s car?” Mom: “What?”

“Can Daddy check on the movies in Amanda’s car so she can take care of us when you go to meet my little sister.” Mom: “Oh… Well, we’ll talk about that when it’s time to meet her.”

“I hope it’s soon!” Mom: “Me too!”

—–

“Mom, what kind of bed does my little sister sleep in?  A toddler bed?” Mom: “Maybe, or maybe a crib.”

“Who is taking care of her?” Mom: “Her teacher at her school.” [We have explained to Aubrey that orphanages are kind of like schools where kids live all the time and have teachers to take care of them.]

“Why does she only have one teacher?” Mom: “Well, maybe she has two.  There are kids in each class, and a few teachers to take care of all the kids in a class.”

“Are there big kids in her class?” Mom: “Hmmm… I don’t think so. But there are big kids at her school.”

“Does she eat lunch at her school?” Mom: “Yes, she eats all her meals at her school.  Would you like to live at school?”

“No…” Mom: “It would be kind of like going to MOPS or church school, but then you would stay there instead of going home.” [I got choked up at this point but didn’t want to overdo it with a 4 year old!  Also, I hope and suspect that the nannies at the orphanage would build truly significant bonds with the children since they are together so much.]

“Mommy, why is your face red?” Mom: “I’m sad about the kids who don’t go home to families.”

“That makes me sad too, Mommy.”

“Mommy, did you adopt me?” Mom: “No, you came from my belly.”

“Will my little sister come from an egg?” Mom: “No, she will come from a Mommy’s belly!”

“Will that be her Mommy?” Mom: “That will be her First Mommy.  I will be her Forever Mommy.” [We have explained that some families can’t take care of their children, so other families adopt those children.  Our conversations on this topic have varied in detail/depth over time.  At first, Aubrey was afraid that she would be changing families.  We explained that we are not the kind of family that children can leave, but we are the kind of family that children can come to when they need a family.]

“Mommy, my little sister will be so happy that you will be her Mommy!”

—–

“When I first meet my little sister I will run to her and give her a big hug!”

—–

“Dear God, please help my little sister not be lonely, and have enough water.” [Each night we ask Aubrey who she would like to pray for, and then she prays.  Last night she chose her little sister.]

I am so thankful that Aubrey is excited about her sister, and comfortable asking us questions.  I don’t want to pretend our child doesn’t exist until they come home, but I want Aubrey and Thatcher to know we are happy with them, and with our family.  It feels perfect the way Aubrey’s curiosity brings her little sister into our daily lives, and her child-faith gives us confidence to believe that someday she really will come home and join the fun.

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4 thoughts on “Her Little Sister

  1. Our kids talk about their siblings often too. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time! Praying for you in your wait! We need a hang out night soon!

  2. I LOVE this! This gives me some great insight into some answers to give to Eden ;) She always talks about baby and sister. Haha. I think we are all a little confused not knowing how many or who to expect God to put into our family!

    • Thanks Mallory! That would be confusing! I am sure you guys will find your own special family dialogue. I have been so thankful for all of my friends and family who are already talking with their kids about adoption. What an awesome thing to have our community (and our child’s future friends) already familiar with that special way some families come together.

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